Filed under Tales life tells

Sunflower girl

From my teenage years on, I have always been Sunflower girl. I loved sunflowers, and they matched my hippie phase so well! I had them everywhere:

Time’s flight

Time is such a weird concept! Every New Year’s Day, I expect time to progress slower than at the end of a year. Because I am slower, too, during that period, I would like time to slow down sometimes. But it seems to go faster than ever. And while I am usually rather upset about … Continue reading

The Christmas feeling

It is 12 degrees outside and raining, and it is Christmas Eve tomorrow. I talked to my Dad today and said that I don’t feel christmassy at all. He said that he hadn’t felt the Christmas mood in years, and I could only agree.  I do remember the Christmas feeling as a child though. In … Continue reading

Looking at 2016…

I know that it’s a tad early to write an end-of-the-year post, but I haven’t written in ages, and tonight I feel like it, even though I am super tired. I spent the last two evenings in the company of lovely people, and there is more to come this week. We had good conversations, everybody … Continue reading

Six feet under

Tomorrow, September 10th, marks my brother’s anniversary – 9 years, how did that happen? I never really thought about the fact that he is really IN this grave. I mean, I know he is, but I never found it spooky or anything. Until I started digging….

Trading pain for happy memories?

Today is my brother Erik’s 36th birthday. For some reason, this day becomes sadder for me the longer he is dead. It’s been almost 9 years now, unbelievable! I went to the cemetery for the first time this year. I don’t go there often. While I love cemeteries, it is not the place I need … Continue reading

I am a Muslim, don’t panic!

Catchy headline, isn’t it? To avoid any confusion, this post is not about Muslims or religion at all. I am still a spiritual Atheist, and it is not about that, either. It is about our perception of the current state of the world. And when I was sitting on my balcony early today, contemplating how … Continue reading

The trashcan man

It is Sunday, a warm and humid day. Mr. Betterhalf and I take a Sunday stroll. We walk through the city and enjoy the relaxed feeling – people are having ice-cream and coffee outside. Some leftover football fans are still celebrating, oblivious to the fact that not only the big final was the day before, … Continue reading

Meta feelings

Thanks to a lovely night out with my friend T., I was able to add a new word to my collection: meta rage. I suppose this term does not exist at all, but it is truly appropriate. According to T., meta rage describes the feeling of being angry about being angry. Get it? Let me … Continue reading

Diversity is a bliss

I just got home from a training seminar that I am doing for work. This was the second block of basically being locked in with 20 people – we spent four days in a hotel in the middle of nowhere.We all work in the social field, most people there are child care workers, one woman … Continue reading

Can social media kill friendships?

It is no secret that you need a good bit of media competence. Before smartphones and social media happened you had to wait until you read the newspaper in the morning to get confronted with the news – who won the soccer, who died, who was born, who ran around naked. Or, you got woken … Continue reading

2015: Gracias a la vida!

Oh, my blog is deserted – I just did not feel it, you see! But I do have a habit of sitting down at the end of another year and look back, see what the challenges and obstacles and good things were. I was thinking about it today while Mr. Betterhalf and I were driving … Continue reading

The handyman curse

Source “Handyman, handyman, handyman, handyman….. HANDYMAN!!!!” You see, I tried, I really did. You know the legend of the candyman curse? Say it five times, and he will appear. I figured that for rhyme scheme reasons, it should work with handymen, too. It doesn’t. But let me take you back to the start of the … Continue reading

I do miss the 90s!

source “Man, I miss the 90s!” – Mr. Betterhalf and I blurted this out simultaneously, when we were out shopping and trying to find a decent pair of jeans (for him, this time). All you get is skinny jeans, loose fit jeans with yet tight bottoms or, even worse, shiny jeans! And they are all … Continue reading

Whatever happened to cards and calls

source Today marks the 8th anniversary of my brother‘s passing death. I still refuse to call it “passing”. And while I felt unusually emotional and sad on his birthday, I am doing reasonably ok today. Still, I posted a photo of him on Facebook. Later I asked myself, why exactly I am doing it. I … Continue reading

Letting go

I probably have mentioned before, that Mr. Betterhalf and yours truly are going to move to a new apartment in October. We have mastered the biggest obstacles successfully so far: we bought a kitchen together without breaking up, and we managed to decide on a sofa – a red sofa, yay!!! We paid a visit … Continue reading

Had or have?

I used to have a brother. It would be his birthday today. “He is in a better place.” – “He is dead. That’s not a place.” “It was God’s will.” – “God had nothing to do with that, believe me.” “You can still talk to him, in the cemetery.” – “I will not talk to … Continue reading

Your fear scares me!

Your fear scares me!

Germany is going through rough times if you follow the comments on various social media. I feel as if a time machine had sent me right back into the 1990s, when refugee homes were burning, set on fire by neonazis. We are experiencing an increasing entry of refugees right now, because the world is more … Continue reading

Cliché magic

I quit my job today. I fucking quit my job today! This is definitely a first! For the most part of my life, I tried to be Miss Security. I used to struggle so bad in the past and always felt that certain structures and security would prevent me from harm. Alas! It did not. … Continue reading

The karma saw

Take a seat, dear reader, and make yourself comfortable. I am not posting as regularly as I’d like to, but ever since I am working full-time again in a sucky job, I don’t feel like spending any more time on my computer very often. Well, I am getting paid ok at least, so not too … Continue reading

Just a very quick note…

… to say I am still alive. I have not given up on this blog, I just started working full-time again a month ago and it is taking up a lot of my energy. The rest of my energy is spent on looking for apartments with Mr. Betterhalf and trying to get my stuff done. … Continue reading

Perspectives on getting help

I was woken up this morning by bright rays of sunshine flooding my bedroom. I was not awake enough to think yet and felt happy and cosy. I grabbed my phone, like I do every morning. Scanning the news helps me wake up and start the day. And there were the headlines: Robin Williams dead. … Continue reading

Perspectives on anxiety

Ah, finally a blog post with a sound track! Check out Muse ‘Panic Station‘ while reading this! I decided to dedicate another blog post to an issue that was and is still important for me, after seeing yet another one of those anxiety awareness posts on my Facebook timeline. I look back at a rather … Continue reading

To the bone! Bone marrow donation.

source Why would you read another heart-breaking article about a fatal disease? First of, my post does not intend to be heart-breaking, just a bit emotionally triggered. I just want to give you some insides or food for thought from a concerned person’s point of view. My own brother was diagnosed with Leukaemia in 2001 … Continue reading

In! Your! Face!

I had two inspiring Facebook encounters today (yes, yes, that happens!) that made me think and also re-think a few matters. The first conversation was with a guy I used to go to school with. We probably have not talked ever since we finished school 18 years ago, but every now and then I take … Continue reading

Perspectives on getting old(er)

Source Most of my ideas for blog posts are inspired by conversations I have or by things I observe. This one started to grow after I talked to a friend on the phone yesterday. I met her when I was 24 and now I am…. older! I will be 37 next week and HOW THE … Continue reading

Time is a capricious bitch!

Today I indulged once again in something that is both one of my best features and my worst habit: pondering. I am feeling somewhat edgy and tried to find out what exactly evokes said feeling. And here it is, the answer, an oh-so-philosophical statement, something we all know but still do not get a grip … Continue reading

Christmas already?

Well…. how did this happen? If you asked me, dear readience, I would have sworn to you that last Christmas was only a couple of months ago – time flies when you’re having fun as they say… apparently I’ve had a lot of fun! Honestly, how can a year go by this fast? I partly … Continue reading

The story of the dragonflies

source In my last post for my brother’s birthday I mentioned that dragonflies are very special to me ever since he is gone. Now the anniversary of his death is approaching – I will not have the time or energy on the very day to publish anything here, so I decided I’ll do it today. … Continue reading

Happy birthday, big little brother!

source Today’s post is a rather personal one. Today is my big little brother’s 33rd birthday. Except he will be 27 forever – he died of leukaemia nearly 6 years ago. And I mean ‘died’; I cannot stand the expression ‘passed away’. It sounds so random… ‘Oops, I just passed away there, sorry for that!’. … Continue reading

‘Un poco loco’ or ‘not on!’?

source We all do crazy things at time – because we are in love or because we aren’t; because we are drunk or because we aren’t; because good or bad things happened or because it’s just one of those days. ‘My friends are crazy’ is usually rather a compliment and being a bit crazy surely … Continue reading

Perspectives on directness

I’ve met someone today. In the waiting room of the ENT doctor where I spent an entire two hours waiting since some sort of epidemic seems to have possessed the city. Mine is funny, I can talk but barely swallow or laugh without my throat feeling like being struck by a grater. However, as I … Continue reading

My lovely horse

After the scandal about horse meat being sold as beef in England, it has hit Germany, too. Horse meat has been found in ready-made lasagne of quite a few suppliers in different supermarkets. Well, I guess people should be glad that it was some sort of meat after all and not something really gross! But … Continue reading

Hokey Pokey

This post today will be a rant rather than one of my peaceful find-your-path-meditations from the other day. I mean, my blood was already boiling before I got up this morning when I checked my bank account. My rental agency has announced to raise the prices for some non-acceptable reason, I filed objection like four … Continue reading

I’ll call you on Sunday

“Mum, any calls for me?” – “No.” – “Are you sure?” – “Yes, I am!” – “Really no calls for me?” – “Nohooooo!” – “Well, did you go shopping or were you in the basement?” – “NO!” – quickly dialling my best friend’s number: “Can you please call be back, I think my phone doesn’t … Continue reading