Filed under Body & Soul

Sunflower girl

From my teenage years on, I have always been Sunflower girl. I loved sunflowers, and they matched my hippie phase so well! I had them everywhere:

Hello darkness, my old friend!

I’ve come to talk with you again! And this time, I really want to talk. I talk, that is, and you keep quiet. We go way back, darkness, you and I, but I feel that it’s time to take our relationship to another level. This level, darkness, is the break-up level. I cannot take it … Continue reading

Time’s flight

Time is such a weird concept! Every New Year’s Day, I expect time to progress slower than at the end of a year. Because I am slower, too, during that period, I would like time to slow down sometimes. But it seems to go faster than ever. And while I am usually rather upset about … Continue reading

Gratefulness

I had a rough few weeks, dear readers, weeks that resulted in a visit to the doc’s today to finally find out that I have got a few slipped disks that are the reason for my pain. It’s gonna be fine, it’ll just take a while. And in my relief, I turned to my journal … Continue reading

Five songs of my life

The other night I was sitting in my room with my headphones on, going through my tracklists and youtube. While I have a lot of favourite songs, I started wondering about my life songs. You know, songs that just never die for you, songs that have a meaning to you beyond being your favourite at … Continue reading

Trading pain for happy memories?

Today is my brother Erik’s 36th birthday. For some reason, this day becomes sadder for me the longer he is dead. It’s been almost 9 years now, unbelievable! I went to the cemetery for the first time this year. I don’t go there often. While I love cemeteries, it is not the place I need … Continue reading

I am a Muslim, don’t panic!

Catchy headline, isn’t it? To avoid any confusion, this post is not about Muslims or religion at all. I am still a spiritual Atheist, and it is not about that, either. It is about our perception of the current state of the world. And when I was sitting on my balcony early today, contemplating how … Continue reading

Meta feelings

Thanks to a lovely night out with my friend T., I was able to add a new word to my collection: meta rage. I suppose this term does not exist at all, but it is truly appropriate. According to T., meta rage describes the feeling of being angry about being angry. Get it? Let me … Continue reading

The day the music died

The picture above shows the John Lennon Wall in Prague. It is a very unique spot for art and expression. Anybody is allowed to spray their pieces of graffiti on there, so it is a rare little piece of freedom, inspired by music. And the title of my blog post is inspired by the song … Continue reading

2015: Gracias a la vida!

Oh, my blog is deserted – I just did not feel it, you see! But I do have a habit of sitting down at the end of another year and look back, see what the challenges and obstacles and good things were. I was thinking about it today while Mr. Betterhalf and I were driving … Continue reading

The beauty of decay

“And everything is beautiful Because everything is dying” I recommend listening to New Model Army’s “Autumn” whilst reading this blog post. I know that the blog title and song title seem rather morbid, and they probably are… but I always had a thing for morbid, because of its beauty. Morbid is happy! But see for … Continue reading

Whatever happened to cards and calls

source Today marks the 8th anniversary of my brother‘s passing death. I still refuse to call it “passing”. And while I felt unusually emotional and sad on his birthday, I am doing reasonably ok today. Still, I posted a photo of him on Facebook. Later I asked myself, why exactly I am doing it. I … Continue reading

Letting go

I probably have mentioned before, that Mr. Betterhalf and yours truly are going to move to a new apartment in October. We have mastered the biggest obstacles successfully so far: we bought a kitchen together without breaking up, and we managed to decide on a sofa – a red sofa, yay!!! We paid a visit … Continue reading

Had or have?

I used to have a brother. It would be his birthday today. “He is in a better place.” – “He is dead. That’s not a place.” “It was God’s will.” – “God had nothing to do with that, believe me.” “You can still talk to him, in the cemetery.” – “I will not talk to … Continue reading

Good girls!

source My friend from Ireland showed her niece (8 years old) a recent photo of me. Friend: Look, this is my friend Lunatique! Niece: From Germany?! Friend: Yes, that’s her! Niece: She’s got a tattoo! Friend: Yes, she does! Niece: So girls CAN have tattoos!!! Friend: NO, THEY CAN’T!!!! I thought this was pretty hilarious … Continue reading

Your fear scares me!

Your fear scares me!

Germany is going through rough times if you follow the comments on various social media. I feel as if a time machine had sent me right back into the 1990s, when refugee homes were burning, set on fire by neonazis. We are experiencing an increasing entry of refugees right now, because the world is more … Continue reading

Back in the 90s, I swore to myself…

source Next week marks my 20th anniversary of my coming of age… I can see your brains frantically calculating my age now 🙂 Please be kind and remember that here in Germany, we only need to wait 18 years until we are legally allowed to do everything legal! Anyways, I was a teenager in the … Continue reading

Diagnophilia

I claim the invention of a new word: diagnophilia. If any of you know of its existence or know a word that describes the issue I am going to discuss, please let me know! The other week I was out for some nice wine with my friend. I told her that recently and for a … Continue reading

The kids are alright!

In the light of the Pope’s latest ramblings about children or rather about couples that decide not to have children, I found myself in a heated online discussion about the matter. While some opinions were more about how our society makes it hard for people to decide to actually have children, others were much more … Continue reading

The magic of New Year’s Day

  Happy new year, everybody! I hope your year will be filled with love, happiness and good health! New Year’s Day always feels magic to me. Of course it is just another day and your worries, problems, excitements and happiness are not going to disappear, lessen or worsen. Still, it feels like a fresh start. … Continue reading

The mirrors and the nightingales

In my last post about anxiety I mentioned that I currently have to let go of some people in my life, because they are not good for me. I have thought about it a lot afer that post, and I have come to the conclusion that this statement might have been a tad premature, or … Continue reading

Perspectives on anxiety

Ah, finally a blog post with a sound track! Check out Muse ‘Panic Station‘ while reading this! I decided to dedicate another blog post to an issue that was and is still important for me, after seeing yet another one of those anxiety awareness posts on my Facebook timeline. I look back at a rather … Continue reading

Follow your nose

Today’s post is about the scented side of life. I got inspired by two things mainly: on the one hand there is one of my new favourite blogs – Thomas over at The Candy Perfume Boy explores and describes perfumes and scents in a way that actually makes you smell them! Even though I would never … Continue reading

To the bone! Bone marrow donation.

source Why would you read another heart-breaking article about a fatal disease? First of, my post does not intend to be heart-breaking, just a bit emotionally triggered. I just want to give you some insides or food for thought from a concerned person’s point of view. My own brother was diagnosed with Leukaemia in 2001 … Continue reading

In! Your! Face!

I had two inspiring Facebook encounters today (yes, yes, that happens!) that made me think and also re-think a few matters. The first conversation was with a guy I used to go to school with. We probably have not talked ever since we finished school 18 years ago, but every now and then I take … Continue reading

Perspectives on getting old(er)

Source Most of my ideas for blog posts are inspired by conversations I have or by things I observe. This one started to grow after I talked to a friend on the phone yesterday. I met her when I was 24 and now I am…. older! I will be 37 next week and HOW THE … Continue reading

Wonderwoman wonders…

Today I added a lifetime event to my Facebook timeline: I became Wonderwoman. Yes, dear reader, that’s right! I got up today, started spinning around and turned into her! Uh huh! Because I can! Anyways, being a proper Wonderwoman, I should start wondering. Or, maybe it’s exactly the other way around: I come across so … Continue reading

Waldeinsamkeit

Today’s blog post is dedicated to my friend Ana, for she first introduced me to the German term “Waldeinsamkeit”. This is weird on many levels: First of, I am German and I had never heard the term before. Secondly, Ana is not German and knows the term. Thirdly, the term seems to be internationally known. … Continue reading

Resolution: Go with the flow

source ‘I live in the future!’ This is what my friend Tourmama usually says when she discovers new breath-taking features on her very smart phone – we are not the techno kids really, so some things are just amazing – checking into a flight with just your phone and without your boarding pass for example! … Continue reading

Nothing to fear

I painted this picture many years ago. This is how I felt and even though I am not a very talented painter, it was my first attempt to canalise what was going on inside me. I remember my first panic attack very vividly. It was Easter 1997 at my Grandmother’s house. My parents, my brother, … Continue reading

Pea soup with ginger

I really got into cooking lately! I mean, I always cooked, but I never particularly liked it. But I have tried so many new things lately and I am really enjoying to spice up recipes that I find on the net or in books and change them a bit to my liking. Also new: I … Continue reading

My lovely horse

After the scandal about horse meat being sold as beef in England, it has hit Germany, too. Horse meat has been found in ready-made lasagne of quite a few suppliers in different supermarkets. Well, I guess people should be glad that it was some sort of meat after all and not something really gross! But … Continue reading

Find your path by changing it!

Everybody has their security blankets – places or habits that keep you save or in a comfort zone. These things are usually totally unglamorous – think of you as a kid: did you always sit on the same chair for dinner and breakfast and so did the rest of your family? Everybody had their habitual … Continue reading