Time’s flight

Time is such a weird concept! Every New Year’s Day, I expect time to progress slower than at the end of a year. Because I am slower, too, during that period, I would like time to slow down sometimes. But it seems to go faster than ever. And while I am usually rather upset about this, I am trying to take it as a sign for well-filled days instead.

I might have mentioned that I am turning 40 this year, and I often think “How the hell did that happen?” Not only do I catch myself saying “20 years ago”, no, I even share a history of 10 or 15 years with most of my new friends! And it feels so weird! A lot of stuff that happened during my teens and twenties seems like yesterday, but like a lifetime ago at the same time. I mean…

  • I got my driver’s license 22 years ago, and am still without an accident
  • I graduated from high school 20 years ago, and I still remember my oral exam (it was about Kant’s categorical imperative)
  • I spent some time at an English university 17 years ago, and am still friends with two of my student hall house mates
  • My first best friend moved away from our town 33 years ago, we lost each other, found us again, and she is still one of my best friends
  • Kurt Cobain died 23 years ago, and I still have the newspaper article
  • I threw up from alcohol for the first and last time 24 years ago, and I hope it will stay that way
  • My Dad turned 40 28 years ago, and I remember it. He was so grown-up!
  • My brother died 10 years ago, and I still remember every detail of that night

In fact, I seem to remember more from “back then” than I do from recent events. Is my brain filled up? Do we get used to things when they don’t happen for the first time? A bit of both, I suppose.

The importance of things is also shifting. While it was really important to go out a lot and meet tons of people during school and university, I now prefer quality time with people. I’d rather see my friends less often, but with more impact.

I am going to turn 40 and I can truly say that I am pretty content with my life. Instead of dreading the day, I am now looking forward to it. I am happy that I made it this far, that I am healthy and in good company. I am really looking forward to the next 40 years – expect a post for my 80th!

Kerstin

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