The Christmas feeling

It is 12 degrees outside and raining, and it is Christmas Eve tomorrow. I talked to my Dad today and said that I don’t feel christmassy at all. He said that he hadn’t felt the Christmas mood in years, and I could only agree. 

I do remember the Christmas feeling as a child though. In Germany, the Christkind brings the presents – if you took that literally, the Christkind would be Baby Jesus! But in our heads, the Christkind would be a goldie-locked Christmas angel who would usually deliver the presents just when you were out for the mandatory walk on Christmas eve. And as you grow up, the excitement just wears off. 

I miss the Christmas feeling. It was a feeling of being safe, of cosy secrets, and a proof for everything being ok. It was sparkly, with dimmed lights, and hope. I remember one Christmas Day morning. I had gotten all my presents the night before, and I woke up well-rested before dawn, the way only a child can. I walked into the living room, which was still lit dimly by the Christmas tree. I remember every detail (I was about 10 years old): it had snowed outside, the tree was sparkling, I lay on the couch and I felt entirely safe. My little world was perfect. I would kill for that feeling today!

This morning though, I went swimming. Swimming is the only thing that always works for me, it lifts my body and soul. As I was working my way through the pool, I started noticing all the details – the tiny bubbles caused by our moves, the sunlight breaking in the water, the shadows cast by every single person. And all of a sudden, there was my Christmas feeling. I felt cosy and safe, I was able to feel everbody’s impact. My mind started wandering, and I was nothing but happy. 

Merry Christmas, everybody! In these times of bad news and catasrophes, focus on what is around you. I am sure you will find something good! See the sparkle, feel cosy! We are all very blessed!

Kerstin 

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