And here we are again – 2014 is coming to its end! I am following my habit of looking back at the year and am – as always – stunned how many emotions, events, tears and joy it provided. This year, I am trying to intensify my musings a bit by using the “12 nights”. I have looked for a proper translation of the German word “Rauhnächte”, but was not able to find one. Rauhnächte are the 12 nights from Christmas Eve up to 6 January. Every night has a different focus, helping you to draw conclusions from the past year and transferring your experience to the 12 months to come.
2014 offered me both challenges and development. I had to leave my job in January and was convinced that it would only be a matter of weeks or a few months to find something else. I was wrong! It took me until September to finally have the interview that changed my situation. Until then, I went through hope, despair, anxiety and the total loss of self-esteem. There were times when I honestly thought there was something wrong with me. It was with the help of my love, my friends and family that I was finally able to see some light there. The whole process had me re-think my stress management as well as my concept of time.
At the same time, Mr. Betterhalf and I started to make plans for our future together. So job-hunting on his side, too – and he found one here! In October, we started looking for a place together – also not as easy as we thought! The market here is crazy!
November and December were just loaded with action and emotions. I started my new job in November. After pretending that everything was ok for two weeks, I finally admitted to myself: my job sucks! My colleagues are nice, the workplace is fantastic, but the job itself is just a complete waste of time! So, more thinking, more planning, more fear and more hope!
Mr. Betterhalf and I are now living in my small apartment. After going through a period of despair about the housing situation, we now look at it more relaxed and with a good bit of humour. And hey: we have got a roof above our head and are saving a lot of money on rent!
So what has 2014 taught me? I learned a lot about my self-perception. And it tends to be bad when things don’t go as smoothly as I expected them. The bright counterpart of my ability to make myself small and gloomy is my ability to gather all my energy as soon as something new comes up. Finding the balance between those two will be a goal for 2015. I set sail for a new level of my relationship and found that it does not scare me at all to share my life with the right person. I am looking forward to developing together! I also learned to let go a bit more of people and habits that I have clung to just because I always have. I realise that things that were good for me 10 years ago are not necessarily helpful in the now. And, as always, I learned to appreciate my friends and family even more. And my goal for 2015 is to always let them know how much they all mean to me!
I hope that the new year will be as exciting as this one (I could do with a little less challenges and some more success though, thank you very much in advance). I wish all of us a new year full of health, love, joy and progress!
Yours truly, madly, deeply!